The first step is often the hardest

For a long time, I thought needing help meant I had failed, that I was weak. The truth is the complete opposite—it takes a lot of strength to admit you need help and even more to actually reach out and get the support you need. In this post, we will be looking at signs it might be time to reach out, different types of support that are out there, and some practical first steps you can take to hopefully make the process less scary and intimidating.

Signs it might be time to reach out

You do not need to be at rock bottom to deserve support. Often, it's the small things adding up that can make you notice that maybe you do need some extra support. Here are some signs it might be time to reach out:

• You have lost interest in things you usually enjoy- This could show up in things such as canceling plans, avoiding hobbies, and feeling indifferent to things you used to enjoy. Sometimes depression doesn't feel like sadness; it can feel like emptiness.

• Everyday tasks feel overwhelming- A lot of people put this down to laziness, but that is not the case. It can show up in ways like struggling to shower, letting dishes pile up, ignoring messages, and finding it difficult to start tasks.

• You notice you start pulling away from people- You might stop replying to messages, turn down plans, start spending more and more time alone, and you may convince yourself nobody wants to hear from you. This is not the case at all, and you are NOT a burden.

• Your thoughts become constantly negative- This doesn't necessarily mean suicidal thoughts (if you are struggling with those kinds of thoughts, please reach out to a professional—there are contact details to helplines on this site), but you may start talking about yourself more negatively, having thoughts that things will never get better, and that nobody cares.

• You start using unhealthy ways to cope- This can show up in ways like doomscrolling for hours, overworking, under- or overeating, excessive sleeping, or avoiding your problems altogether.

• When you are struggling more than you are living- Sometimes this looks like spending all day in bed or looking forward to going back to bed, feeling like every task requires a huge effort, and getting through the day but having no energy left afterward.

  
  

Please remember, you do not have to wait until you are in crisis to ask for help. If you are struggling, confused, exhausted, overwhelmed, lonely, numb, anxious, or you simply do not feel like yourself, that is reason enough to reach out.

Different types of help

A lot of people hear "get help," and they automatically think it means therapy or medication. In reality, there are so many ways to get support, and I will outline a few here:

• Help from family and friends- For many people, the first step is talking to someone close to them to let them know they are struggling. It can be so helpful to have someone to just listen without trying to fix everything, having practical help with everyday tasks, having someone to check in on you, and just feeling less alone in what you are feeling.

• Therapy and counselling- Therapy can help with things such as understanding your emotions, learning coping strategies, processing past experiences, improving relationships, building your self-esteem, and understanding patterns in your behaviours and reactions. Finding the right therapist for you can take time, so I would suggest doing research and meeting a few therapists before deciding who to go with.

• Speaking to your GP- A GP can assess mental health symptoms, discuss treatment options, refer to services, signpost you to other support organizations, and also rule out any physical causes of symptoms. In the UK, your GP can refer you to mental health services on the NHS, so you don't have to pay privately. Waiting lists and services can vary from place to place, so I suggest researching support in your local area.

• Medication- Medication can be controversial, but there is no shame in trying it if you think it might help. That being said, medication often works better alongside other therapies. Medication is different for everyone, and you should always follow your doctor's guidelines and advice on starting and stopping any medications.

• Support groups- Many people find comfort in talking to others who truly understand how they are feeling. It can help you feel less isolated and alone in how you are feeling, and you can also share coping strategies with others. You can find local support groups by looking on the Mind website and entering your postcode.

• Helplines and crisis services- Helplines aren't only for crisis emergencies. You can contact them if you need someone to listen, feel overwhelmed, need immediate support, or you don't know who else to talk to. I have helplines listed on this site, but currently, these are only in the UK. If you are outside of the UK, please Google helplines in your country.

• Self-help and mental health resources- Professional help is valuable, but there are many things you can do independently. Things like books, podcasts, worksheets, journaling, mental health apps, and online courses can all be really helpful in helping you to learn new skills and understand yourself better.

• Nature and community- For some people, healing and support also come from spending time outside, volunteering, joining clubs, faith or spiritual communities, creative groups, and exercise classes. These don't replace professional help but can be a great way to find connection in like-minded people and also provide a bit of a routine, which can help mental health massively.

Practical first steps

Reaching out can feel scary and overwhelming, so let's break it down into smaller, manageable steps.

• Start by telling one person- Simply choosing one person you trust and saying something like "I have been struggling lately," "Things haven't felt right for a while," or "I am finding things difficult at the moment" can take a huge weight off of your shoulders.

• Write down what's been going on- Many people know they are struggling but find it difficult to explain why. I encourage you to write down changes in your mood, changes in sleep, things you've been finding difficult, symptoms you are experiencing, and questions you want answered. This can help you identify patterns and make conversations with professionals feel less daunting.

• Book an appointment- This could be a GP/doctor's appointment, a therapist consultation, a wellbeing service, or a support worker. You don't need to know exactly what you need or want before asking for support—that is what the professionals are there to help with.

• Save support numbers before you need them- When we are feeling overwhelmed, it can be much harder to think clearly. Saving helpline numbers, creating a list of trusted people you can contact, and having emergency contacts somewhere visible can all help when you are feeling overwhelmed and don't have the capacity to look for these things.

• Let people help with practical things- Sometimes help looks like someone helping with household tasks, asking for a lift somewhere (maybe to any mental health appointments), having someone sit with you, or sharing responsibilities. Support doesn't always have to be emotional.

• Focus on the next step, not the whole journey- It can be overwhelming to focus on everything all at once. Ask yourself, "What's the next small step I can take today?" This could be something as simple as sending one text or researching your local support services.

• Take care of basic needs- When you are struggling with your mental health, basic self-care often disappears first. Try drinking some water, eating something that makes you feel good, taking your medication, getting some fresh air, and resting when you need it. Don't push yourself too hard; we just need to try our best.

• Give yourself permission to accept help- Often, people feel guilty for needing support, don't want to burden others, and believe that other people need help more. You do not have to earn support. If you are struggling, that is enough to deserve support.

You don't have to have everything figured out before asking for help. You don't need the perfect words, explanation, or detailed plan. The bravest thing you can do is take one small step toward support. You deserve to be happy and not struggle alone.

Look after yourselves,

Megan xoxo